Most sleep consultants use the term "gentle methods" to mean that they do not use the “cry it out” method; which, by definition means putting your baby in the crib, closing the door and leaving him to “figure it out” until morning. This is where the general consensus ends and I have been noticing that the definition of “gentle methods" can vary greatly amongst sleep consultants. Here are a couple of recent example to illustrate my point: I recently spoke to a family who used a consultant with "gentle methods". The mom was told to check on her 9 month old baby at 20 minutes intervals only and were instructed to not pick babe up from the crib. From my perspective this may get your baby to "sleep through the night” quickly, BUT 20 minutes without any interaction from a parent is a long time in your baby’s world and can create a great deal of stress for a baby (and mom!). Another family that I met with told me a sleep consultant recommended that they cut down to 1 nighttime feeding for their 5 month old who had been previously feeding 3+ times per night and was told to "be prepared to pull this feed if nighttime sleep does not improve”. Again, this may get your baby “sleeping through night” quickly BUT moving to just 1 feed (or NO feeds!) in the night cold turkey without prior preparation for this age baby can create an incredible amount of crying and stress for a baby (and not to mention for a mom who is breastfeeding!). Now let me clarifying there is no “right or wrong” in these situations. In both of these situation, these methods are valid and do work but they are very different from my perspective of a gentle approach. So sleep deprived parents, here is my message to you. Take time to interview sleep consultants and ensure that they a good fit for you and your baby. There are more questions to ask than just "Do you use cry it out?" because most do not use that method. Dig dipper and ask the questions:Can I keep a nighttime feed?Do you require me to cut all nighttime feedings for sleep training to be a success?Will I be able to pick up my baby during the sleep training process? I do consider myself a gentle sleep consultant and when I work with families, my approach is based on these 3 core philosophies: sleep foundations: We create a good sleep foundation for age appropriate feeding, napping and bedtime routines for your baby to ensure your baby is setup for sleep success. This may or may not include a nighttime feeding depending on where your baby is currently at. parent present: During the process you will always be have the opportunity to check on, reassure AND cuddle your child. baby led: While we will put a “plan” in place for the sleep training, how exactly we respond will greatly depend on how your baby is doing and is responsive. If your baby is very upset, we will increase support. If your baby is doing great and settling well, we will give your baby some space. My approach is responsive and intuitive versus following strict rules. I hope this helps to give some awareness and further insight to the term “gentle” when it comes to sleep training and will give you a few more points to consider when hiring a sleep consultant. If you are having problems with your baby’s sleep I would love to chat and share how I work in a complimentary 15 minute consultation.
