Why can changing be a struggle?
As entering 2025 is still fresh in our lives, so too are the actions we intended to take/make this year. As time marches on we can lose steam with some of our actions/resolutions and wonder why we are struggling. Why do we struggle to change? How often do we know that there is something about our bodies or even our lives that we want to change and yet we struggle to make those changes or sustain them?
If you are anything like me, very often! A lot of people know they should eat healthier, exercise more often, lose weight, save up for retirement, communicate better with friends and family, tackle projects around the house, and the list goes on and on. These types of things are also the things that all human beings tend to struggle with. Why is that?
Long View Vs. Short View
It turns out that the further away the payout of reaching a goal is from our present state/situation, the harder it is for us as humans to stay focused and consistent enough to reach it. We are very good creatures at doing things that give us immediate gratification. We crave a pizza, click a few buttons, and bam! Pizza shows up on our doorstep. We accomplish the goal of feeding our cravings and ourselves pretty immediately. Now imagine deciding you want to make your own brick oven pizza, from scratch, including completing your own brick oven in your backyard. Are you likely to follow through with that goal and vision? Possibly, but you're far less likely to stick with that vision/goal and complete the steps because it is going to take time and effort.
The same goes for weight loss. Losing weight is a complex process that is not beholden to just one simple factor. It is not simply a matter of exercising more. Losing weight generally involves watching how much we eat, when we eat, what quality of food we eat, where we eat, who we eat with, when we exercise, if we exercise, how often we exercise, what type of exercise we do, what our hormones are doing, how our bodies are feeling, how much we have slept, when we sleep, etc. My point being that addressing just one thing is often not enough to help us reach our goal.
One of the best things we can do in order to reach a long term goal is to recognize that it is going to come with challenges. Once we are aware of that fact, we can keep our eyes open for them and hopefully keep motivated and stick to things into the future. Most of the things that would bring us more joy and peace in this life are going to take time, patience, and consistency. It took nine months for you to even be born, so what makes you think that changing your life will take any less time?
Developing a “long view” of things we want to accomplish can help us to keep healthy perspectives on steps we are taking to reach our goals. We can train ourselves to be consistent for the things that we deem important to accomplish. Possibly most importantly on long journeys, is our ability to weather tough times, setbacks and be resilient in the face of challenges. What do we do when all of our efforts and hard work don’t budge the scale this week? Do we give up and quit all the good habits we have been trying to implement? No, certainly not, although it is a temptation, we continue to maintain consistency. Our bodies and brains will catch up.
Focus On Consistency
Our bodies and brains are designed to maintain homeostasis. This means that they are programmed to hold steady in the face of challenging short term moments. This is why we sometimes do not see the results we would like immediately upon making changes. However, if we are consistent in our behaviors and purposeful in our choices over the long term, bodies and brains can grow and adapt into the person we are trying to become.
As trite as it may sound, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” is a very good phrase. Think of the biggest accomplishments you have had in your life and the things that you are most proud of developing. Did they just spontaneously happen or did you have to put in effort over a period of time? My guess is that it is the latter.
Give Yourself Some Grace!
Be gentle on yourself and be compassionate. We are often our own biggest critic. This criticism can tank our motivation and keep us from being consistent in marching day by day toward our goals. Be your own best friend and cheerleader. Aim for a growth mindset. Encourage yourself to take one step after another. Celebrate your progress and genuinely let your body and mind know how much you appreciate them. Consider your body and brain your team and that you are the head coach trying to take your team to victory. The Superbowl is not won from a simple game but is the culmination of several games over a period of months.
Giving others grace when they are trying to grow and change is often way easier than giving ourselves the same grace and encouragement. Look within yourself and ask why. Have a conversation (even if it is just in thought) about whether or not that is true for you. You are worthy of good things. Period.
What are you hoping to accomplish in your long term? Consider bringing it up in your next session at Posture Massage to work on what may be hindering you or simply for encouragement along your journey!
